Rustic Retreat

RUSTIC RETREAT

I can’t believe this was a year ago! I was actually just cleaning out the center console of my car last week and found the receipt from that evening meal at the diner. What blessings that evening and morning was there. It truly was the restorative rustic retreat that my soul needed. I was just starting out on a long solo ride home from a super fun vacation in Wyoming that ended in an awkward parting of ways with my travel companion out there. That trip was pretty soon after I had been laid off from my job, and honestly, I wasn’t feeling like there was much to go home to. I was feeling very disoriented, confused, and frustrated. The thought did cross my mind, maybe I wouldn’t go home. Maybe I’d just continue to wander around the west and drop off the grid for awhile, Into the Wild style.

I never liked that story. Something always didn’t sit right with me about it. While everyone else seemed to admire Chris McCandless for his adventurous and free spirit, it broke my heart in a weird way. I saw a lot of myself in Chris, and I didn’t like it. After reading the book, my sister even asked that if I ever planned to disappear like that, if I’d be sure to let her know. Ouch. I think I cried. I couldn’t quite articulate what about the story didn’t fit or sit right, but it really saddened my heart. Return to the Wilderness, a follow up documentary came out in 2014, and it made a lot of sense of what I was feeling and put the pieces together. He was running from pain, not just adventuring. I know what that feels like.

Interestingly, it was also a year ago the haunting poem by Robert Service resurfaced (see below) from my archives as I was processing through my own wanderings as I read through the book The Restless Heart. I can’t unpack all of the depths that I wrestled through, but I think a lot of healing happens in the stillness. When I let all I’ve been keeping at bay with movement and distraction finally catchup to me and I allow myself to FEEL. To give God access to help me process and heal, and allow close those He’s called to come along side with me. By stillness, I don’t even mean lack of movement, because I actually find sometimes I process better when I’m moving my body. But physical stillness and rest was certainly part of it! I also don’t think healing means my love of adventure and travel would subside, but put in a healthy place, in better alignment. A place where my heart is open and free, and not numb and distracted. 

Rejoice and Lament

A birthday reflection of the year

It’s been an admittedly hard (and yet wonderful) year. It’s so interesting how we can often tell two opposing stories of the same narrative. Right? Last New Years my resolution was to have more fun. Well— being unemployed the majority of the year, I certainly did have more fun than I worked! At the same time, it’s been a deeply dark, difficult, and soul searching time marked by a lot of hard questions and loneliness. But I need to share some details as to WHY this is incredible. I don’t understand God or His timing, but I have clung on for dear life that HE IS GOOD. There is no need for faith if we fully see and comprehend.

This is too good not to share. About two and a half years ago work started getting really difficult for me at the company I was with. Where I previously seemed to have favor, I felt like I was spinning my wheels and working harder than ever with diminishing returns. It was frustrating to say the least. I felt like the time to move on was coming. In my gut, I felt like I was going to get fired or laid off— the thought was anxiety producing to say the least! During that time, I did everything I knew on my end, and started to look for what might be next. Nothing felt “right” and as time went on there was a building of this anxious pressure and antsiness. My mom described me as a race horse chomping at the bit in the stall before the gate is open, and that quite accurately described how I was feeling inside. I was ready for something NEW! I felt like God was keeping me in that job for a purpose, though I didn’t know why, and it was frustrating and painful. Easter came last year, and the following morning I was chatting with my dad, and he asked what I wanted for my up coming birthday, and I blurted out, “a new job”. He kind of awkwardly chuckled, assuming I’d come up with something more tangible. Later that day while I was praying and talking to God about it, I felt a strong impression to write a letter of resignation, and a list of all the ways the job has been a blessing and provision. I did just that. I crafted an eloquent letter, kindly and respectfully resigning, even adding that my last day of work would be May 8th (because May 9th was my birthday, and I wanted a new job!). Below, I wrote quite a long list of all the blessings and provisions the job has provided. I saved the file and forgot about the silly little exercise.

The weeks following were busy and stressful, auditing a class at the local seminary, a church conference, working with my boss for a week, friends visiting, family visiting, a falafel party, travel to Haiti. Then, May 8th, I got the call. It was my boss calling to inform me of some restructuring that needed to happen in the tristate area. Due to some industry changes, the territory could no longer support all the sales reps in the area, and I was being offered to either relocate to the Nashville territory, or to no longer work with the company. Either way, by the end of the month, I would no longer be doing the job I had done for the last 6 years.

There was so much of God’s peace and grace during that call. Obviously part of me was in shock of the news, but also in shock that maybe God heard my wanting a new job? But this was NOT exactly what I meant. I suddenly didn’t feel ready! I pretty quickly declined the relocation, figuring God had a new job for me here.

Well, the process of finding that new job did not go as quickly as I thought it would. I had lots of opportunities for travel both for potential work, temp work, and for pleasure, and it was a huge provision both financially, but also for my mental state. When November came, travel stopped, and still nothing panned out on the work front, things started to feel really hard. It had been my prayer that I wouldn’t squander this time being anxious, and I really can’t say I fully succeeded at that! There are a lot of potent lessons that I am still unpacking.

I continued to follow leads that didn’t seem to pan out, picked up part time work, periodically did herbal educational workshops and consultations— but nothing felt like it was really coming together. By Easter this year, I was a bit unraveled to say it kindly. My family sat with me through lunch as I cried unprompted. I just couldn’t hold it together. They supported me as they knew, but really— in those spaces, it feels like an unhelpable place to be when none of us are in control of the external situations. Only God. And then Tuesday, even worse! Thank God for my parents, really. So, so much. They really talked me down and helped set out a plan for moving forward.

I wasn’t really planning to go back to the same type of work as before, but I would peruse the industry job websites periodically to see if there was anything I was qualified for. Well, that Tuesday, there was! And right in NY! My spirit jumped a bit with excitement. (A surprise to me!) so I quickly submitted my resume and a cover letter. I got a response that day and set up an initial call! After a 4th interview, they offered me the position! May 8th, the day before my birthday! A FULL YEAR, to the day, LATER. Gosh, I don’t have much more of an understanding of God’s timing, or what His plan always is, but I know He is good. This is just a job, it’s not my saving.

John the Baptist said, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given to him from heaven.” (John 3:27) I’ve been chewing on these words. Is it a gift if we earn it? Is it a gift if there is a cost? Sometimes the gifts God gives feel heavy, and costly. To give up our work for His work. I think of it as if I have spent my whole life building a house and creating a life for myself— and then a good king comes and offers me to be part of his household. To rule with peace and justice, to do REAL good in the world, but I will have to leave the home and life I created to come live in his palace. Would I do it? Would I go? Sure there is a “cost”— but it’s but a speck in comparison to what I get to gain by following Jesus. We gain so much more than we give up.

Lilias Trotter said, “believe in the darkness what you have seen in the light.” These words are hard and true. I think it’s a lovely image of faith. When I don’t know, or understand, or feel— in a state of utter bewilderment— I can still TRUST. Sometimes that looks messy. Emotions don’t need to line up with actions. Even when keeping faith feels like foolishness, I can keep holding on. James 1: 22-25 says: “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.” Wow- yes. Being a “doer of the word” is not forgetting who you are when you can’t see, but still persevere.

I still can't say in understand all of the ways of God, but I know His ways are higher, and that He is good! Perhaps, this was a ‘sabbath year’ I had been wanting. If so, I really do have some sabbath skills that need some honing!

And, joy upon joy, this year there is about a dozen or so

 PINK LADY SLIPPERS babies that popped up!

What a gift!!

A Sincere Heart

Creating pottery is a process. I have always enjoyed working through the processes of learning various skills, and working with clay is no different. From mixing the clay, to wedging, to forming, to reworking, to burnishing, to drying, to firing, to glazing, and then firing again; each stage needs to happen in a specific order, with precision, to make the end product beautiful and useful.

While working with clay, we learned the process of wedging the clay. I would stand over the clay leaning my weight into this mass of clay; pressing and squeezing with my hands, over and over again.  My spirit got pricked, there was a deeper lesson. The purpose of the process is to make a homogeneous mixture, to press out any air bubbles, to work out any stiffness or dry areas in the clay. Learning the importance of this process started to make the difficulties in life a little more understandable. This process, if done properly, prevents problems in working the clay later. Any stiffness or dry spots in the clay would make it unyielding under the hands of the potter, which could cause the whole pot to tear under the fingers of the potter as the wheel spun, or an unsightly lump in a hand built piece. The bubbles were the most dangerous. These could go undetected all through the process of forming the pot up until the first firing. As the pot is fired, the clay shrinks. Any bubbles in the clay would cause the pot to crack or burst into pieces as the clay shrank around the air pocket. So any laziness or lack proficiency in the beginning of the process could cause total destruction in the end! What’s more, some students had their work DAMAGED by others pots exploding in the kiln! Wow. I was starting to see how I am responsible to others in my own process, how our own carelessness can, and often do harm others.

During that time in high school, a very difficult chapter in my life began to unfold. The words that seemed to best describe what I was going through was, “God is wedging me” and yes, it hurt, it was uncomfortable. Ultimately, He was creating a heart that was yielding to him, without hardness and without bubbles so that I too could pass through the fire uncracked. While I knew this on a level, my heart was very confused as to why so much pain and confusion and disappointment was happening. It was during this time that I started to spiral down into the depths of a decade long grips of an eating disorder. No one could fully understand the depths of the darkness I experienced during that time. I dropped out of college 3 times, was hospitalized twice with numerous different therapists and treatments, but in the end I was still sick. I had a toolbox full of the tools of recovery that I desperately wanted, but found no freedom. For the better part of the decade I was a “functional bulimic” I held down a job and I fumbled through life, nearly resigned that I would always be that way. Then God healed me. Miraculously. In a way that no doctor, no method, no treatment could take credit. I knew it wasn’t my willpower because Lord knows I had tried with all my might! And even in those previous months of being binge free and purge free, I knew no freedom in my mind. I was still bound to the obsession, and I was merely controlling my symptoms. This time it was different, and I knew it. I was in awe.

I likened the bulimia to an addiction. It was a crutch, and it worked. I find it odd even now looking back and seeing the awareness I had then, yet that awareness was not able to save me or heal me. I knew then, that the eating disorder was a distraction to prevent me from seeing and feeling the reality that I was in that was too painful for me to face. The analogy came one evening while riding the train home from a Manhattan day treatment program. While the lights were on in the train as I looked out the window, all I could see was my reflection. I could see the faintness of the world outside, but the lights inside were so bright I could hardly see what was outside the window. There were always a few times during the ride that the lights would flicker and go out in the train. In those brief moments, I could see quite clearly out the window: the cars passing, the people rushing home, wandering in and out of shops. The eating disorder was like turning the lights on so bright that I couldn’t see outside myself. If I was consumed about weight and food and calories, I couldn’t worry about anything else. I couldn’t feel anything else. I was numb and unaware.

Turn off the lights, stop the addiction—the crutch, and suddenly you start SEEING and FEELING everything. This is often the most overwhelming part, and wonderful. God is faithful! He brought me to a church that had an emotional healing course (listen here) that I desperately needed. While working through some things with my group, I commented that I didn’t know God’s timing, I didn’t know why I had to suffer for 10 years, why didn’t He heal me right away? My leader encouraged me to ask God why. I was a bit resistant, I felt like I shouldn’t need to know. God is God and His ways are higher than mine. But her words have lingered in my mind. God, why?

I don’t think there is ever a simple answer to the question why. God is weaving a complex tapestry of the story and each thread is playing multiple roles, all worked together for His glory and our good (if we let Him). A year later, God gave me a glimpse to the why, and it goes back to the wedging. One Sunday a sermon was preached on the Hebrews 10:19-25, what was shared about verse 22 amazed me.

“let us approach God with a true and sincere heart

in unqualified assurance of faith, having had our hearts sprinkled

clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.”

Hebrews 10:22 (AMP)

That word sincere is believed to be rooted in the Latin term “without wax” sine = without, cera = wax. The phrase came to be a term used to describe the quality of pottery or sculpture, as it was a practice of a dishonest artisan to take a cracked piece and fill it with wax and paint over it so it would look as if it was without blemish. Only to have the purchaser of the pot later have the pot fall apart or leak when filled with hot water. Ah! God is creating a heart “without wax” that can draw close to Him in true faith! A heart that would withstand the heat of trials and not crack, a heart that didn’t need waxy mask to cover the blemishes and weakness of a refining work left undone, a heart whole and sincere, and a heart yielded to the Potter.

“Let us approach God with a true and sincere heart in unqualified assurance of faith” Unqualified. What does that mean? We are ALL broken. We’ve all been unyielding to the Potter’s hands in some way that has caused damage to ourselves and likely others. None of us come to God whole. So in our own devices of healing perhaps we have slapped some wax in our cracks in hopes others won’t notice. Maybe we’ve painted over those waxed up patch jobs and hope that heat doesn’t get too hot for us to handle.

There is another tradition of repairing broken pots. Kintsugi is the method of repairing broken pottery by fusing the broken pieces together with gold. The result is a strikingly beautiful pot where the cracks are displayed with value instead of being covered up. This is how God heals hearts. He HEALS. He doesn’t tell us to hide our wounds or pretend they aren’t there. He doesn’t toss us aside because we can’t contain anything of value in our brokenness. He takes our pieces and fuses them together with His liquid love, a stunning gold that gives Him glory for our good.

But he knoweth the way that I take:

when he hath tried me,

I shall come forth as gold.

Job 23:10 KJV

This process is not easy and it hurts. It takes humility and action on our part. We need to give Him access to our hearts. Jesus is a gentleman. He won’t force healing on us. He will wait until we come to Him. And sorry to be the bringer of hard truth here, but we are never done healing on this side of heaven. There is always more available. This is awesome and amazing in some regards! I love seeing people who have been following Jesus for decades get to experience new facets of His healing and love! There is no such thing as Enlightenment in the Christian faith. We are all always in the process. We receive revelation of truth from the Holy Spirit, but it is nothing we attain by our works or earnings. It is by grace, we get the healing we don’t deserve, because He loves us first, even in our brokenness. Let Him be the liquid gold that holds together your broken pieces in extravagant beauty.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made

perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly

of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

A Voice for the Voiceless :: A Call to Action

As the news of legislation expanding the parameters of abortion in the state of New York (Jan 22, 2019), a cry of grief and disgust of many is heard, and rightfully so. But friends, let’s not get stuck in a place of grief and disgust! Being a voice for the voiceless is more than expressing our disapproval on social media and showing up to a protest. We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities. Wisdom from above is foolishness to earthly philosophy. (1 Corinthians 3:19) Hearts are changed by God. We need to be praying and fasting for a release of God’s love, His strategy, His creativity, and His justice. 

We should be asking, “what is MY call to action?” I’m going to give you a little warning, it may quite possibly be outside your comfort zone. It might be costly. If we earnestly seek Him, He will show us, but we need to be willing to hear things we don’t want to hear, and be willing to be obedient anyway.

If you don’t have a practice of praying and fasting, I suggest you seek God on a place to start. He will show you. There are some great resources out there with practical instruction and guidance (The Celebration of Discipline is one of my favorite) but none parallels the wisdom God will give you when you seek Him. I don’t like fasting, but it gets me to a place of humility and tenderness towards God’s heart that I so sorely need! 

Our first call might be to our own healing. How can we bring the Love and Light of God if our own brokenness has filled us with anger, hatred, criticism, and shame? This may be a long and hard and pain-filled process. Lean in.  He is a good Father, He is faithful and loves us way too much to leave us in our brokenness. But, He is also a gentleman. He won’t force healing on us, we need to come to Him. We don’t want to come to the time that God is calling us to action only to find we are in disrepair and unable. It is easier to focus on the brokenness outside us instead of the brokenness within us. Let’s be willing to do the hard work and go to the uncomfortable places to be in a place of readiness. 

Maybe God has broken your heart for these voiceless children, but He is calling you into your personal healing first. Trust Him. We need discernment to know what battles we are called to engage in, and which we are to wait on. King David inquired of God if he should chase after the raiders that pillaged his home. He WAITED until he got the go ahead, and God have him the victory (1 Samuel 30:1-8). Be sure you are equipped and called to the battle before rushing in. Deuteronomy 20:5-9 gives instruction on who should not go into battle. In verse 8 it says, ”’Is there any man who is fearful and fainthearted? Let him go back to his house, lest he make the heart of his fellows melt like his own.’” (ESV) 

God will give us His wisdom, His boldness, and His strategy, through the Holy Spirit. Yes, we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but we should be seeking and listening to the Holy Spirit as to what actions He has for us in the practical. Being a voice for the voiceless may mean getting over your squeamishness in talking to your kids about sex and sexuality in a biblical and redeemed way. It may mean having repeated verbal conversations, pointing out right behavior and error, showing our young people they are valued apart from sexuality, and that it doesn’t define them, and modeling in our own words and actions! 

It might include talk about celibate sexuality; how we can express and cultivate our connection to God and others through creativity, and community, and compassion. How many people know that the ONLY foolproof way of avoiding unwanted pregnancy is abstinence? Yet, it’s not presented as a reasonable option because we have been conditioned to believe we are slaves to our appetites. (Another benefit of fasting, is FEELING hungry, and not acting on it. This is a potent lesson that we don’t need to be ruled by our appetites of both food and other desires.) I pray God will release and lead me to write more on this topic in the future because there is such a void in this area. As a single woman in my mid 30’s, “wait until marriage to have sex” sounds like a call to white knuckle it for an undetermined amount of time. No wonder no one wants to talk about it as a legitimate option! That sounds awful. And it IS an awful place to be without a better dialog. Choosing to not engage in sexual relationships does not mean I cease being a sexual being. Part of the better dialog is discovering and pouring in to the aspects of connection, community, creativity, and compassion that God is calling me to. These are uncomfortable topics to write about and reveal for others to read, even as I wrestle through on my own journey, but it’s needed. 

May God release strategy for ways to extricate the roots, and not allow us to get so caught up and distracted with the fruit. We can easily weary ourselves trying to manage the fruit of the issue instead of bringing the ax of His strategy to the root of the problem. Lord help us. 

I Like You and I Love You

I have a dear friend who would periodically tell me that she likes me and she loves me. I adored her differentiation between the two. Because they ARE different. Sometimes people hurt us or behave in certain ways that we don’t understand or like, but we still LOVE them. Sometimes we choose to love people we don’t really like!  We keep on acting lovingly towards them. Another wise friend tells me, “Sometimes loving someone well looks like having really good boundaries.” YES!! Love is not always permissive, letting someone get their way or making excuses for their toxic or hurtful behavior. These kinds of good boundaries can help guard against letting dysfunctional elements into relationships.

What about your relationship to yourself? Perhaps there are aspects that you don’t like about yourself. Can you choose to LOVE yourself anyway? Maybe you are struggling with negativity, or anger, or criticism. You catch yourself after the fact. Perhaps it’s okay and even right to not LIKE the behavior. But how can you be loving towards yourself? The next step might be some tough love for yourself. It might mean foregoing defending your behavior and taking a sober look at why. It may even mean inviting someone into that place to see you where you are, and walking alongside you with compassionate accountability.

This is the time of the year notorious for people being critical of their bodies and behaviors. They follow the criticism with plans and strategies how to do better this year. Some people will commit to abusing their bodies with harsh exercise, or cutting whole food groups out of their diet because they are “bad” and they are “being bad” when they consume them. This doesn’t sound like very loving behavior!

I have also noticed some backlash to this tradition. And I think somewhat rightly so. What concerns me though, is the risk of being overly permissive of hurtful behavior. Sometimes loving ourselves well looks like having really good boundaries! We don’t have to like our bodies to love them. What might this look like in the practical?

It probably means letting go of some really restrictive rules. The problem with cutting out whole food groups and drastic changes in diet, and harsh exercise, is that it is unsustainable. It creates an “on the wagon” vs “off the wagon” mentality. These types of rules can really create a lot of toxic habits, guilt and shame around food, and lead to disordered eating. It is fine and normal and even HEALTHY to have an occasional treat. The key word is occasional. Dessert foods never used to be part of a daily diet. The inception of processed and mass produced foods made these foods so readily accessible that they can be (and often are) eaten daily. Some good and healthy boundaries in this area would be to include treat foods on a few occasions a week, and FULLY enjoy them without guilt! I cringe when people say they are having a “cheat meal” or they are “cheating” on their diet. First, there is no such thing as cheating on a diet. We all bear the outcome of the food we eat, whether it is nutritious or not. By using the word “cheat” we are associating certain foods with being bad. Foods are inanimate. They are not inherently BAD. (I’d actually be more inclined to label a food ‘bad’ if the production of it is actively oppressing people, creating toxic outcomes in the environment, or supporting the abuse of animals—but that tangent is for another post!)

Loving your body well might include getting some good solid education on nutrition and health so you are equipped to make healthy choices. Unfortunately a lot of people are getting a lot of their information from someone promoting a certain diet or product. That is marketing, not education. The truth is: there is no one size fits all diet. We all have different bodies, chemistries, and ancestral heritage—which often affect the way we digest and metabolize different foods. Here is a really good article on why some people thrive on a vegan diet and others develop problematic deficiencies! David Winston, my teacher of clinical herbal medicine would often share this truth, “your body does not care about your philosophy.” I firmly believe that people can and should be able to eat wheat as part of a healthy diet. My body does not agree with this philosophy. I am allergic to gluten and consuming it causes some disastrous results!

Some may need baby steps; small incremental changes that are sustainable. Others might need a lot of accountability, strategy, and education to start! When I was going through treatment for an eating disorder, I was started out on a very rigid meal plan. I had to measure everything I ate. For me, it wasn’t because I was eating too much at meals, but I wasn’t eating enough, and then I was later binging and purging. This structure provided a safe place to learn what healthful meals and portions looked like. I was learning what it meant and felt like to nourish my body consistently throughout the day. AND! I had mandatory 2 desserts a week. I clearly remember “doughnut day” when I ate a doughnut for breakfast. This was part of my meal plan! And then I continued the day eating nourishing food. Sometimes what is needed is full permission to partake and enjoy a treat food. That time on the rigid meal plan was temporary. It was never intended for me to stay in that rigid structure, but serve as training so I could move to keep a food diary and record my meals, and eventually move to “normal eating.”

Sometimes restriction leads to freedom. Right now my diet is restrictive. But it’s not because I am punishing my body for being too large or too weak or too anything else. I choose to restrict my diet out of loving care for my body. Before I became committed to eliminate wheat out of my diet, my LIFE was restricted by the pain and inflammation and unpredictable bowel movements caused by eating gluten. It was a hard choice to make, but sometimes hard choices are required to move into freedom and healing. The difference is the attitude of love towards myself and not punishment. There have been times when I share with someone the food restrictions I have for health reasons, and their response to me is, “lucky you, if I couldn’t eat those foods I’d be thin.” This is both infuriating and heartbreaking all at once. Who wants to be thin so badly that they wish illness on their own body? Too many people unfortunately. I have received these comments on multiple occasions. At first it felt offensive and dismissive of the fact that I am often experience pain. I am often inconvenienced traveling and going out to eat, not to mention it would be nice to have the OPTION to have certain treats.

There are some good principles to follow, but they aren’t hard and fast rules. Louise Hay says, “If it grows, eat it. If it doesn’t grow, don’t eat it.” Even if this principle was followed 50% of the time, a lot of people’s nutritional intake would improve! It would mean a drastic reduction in processed and mass produced food, as these foods are manufactured, not grown.

Maybe you don’t like the body you are in. Maybe it’s not as young and strong as it was. Maybe it’s injured or disabled. Maybe it’s a constant struggle to get to a ‘healthy’ weight. Can you love it anyway? What might that look like? It might start by not calling it names and cursing it for not performing as you wished. When we love our body, we take better care of it. We choose more nutritious foods. We take the time to care for it well and prepare healthful meals, because these bodies of ours are worth the time and effort. Michael Pollan even suggests eating anything you want as long as it’s cooked at home! Take some time and consider what would loving YOUR body well might look like this year.

I bless you to know what loving your body well looks like in 2019!

PART TWO Redeeming the Real Christmas Tree

In the previous blog Redeeming The Real Christmas Tree, the symbolism and spiritual meaning behind the tradition of bringing a live trees into our homes was discussed. But, there is another facet of redemption, the environmental impact of this tree chopping tradition. I am an advocate of mindful harvesting of medicinal plants and environmental stewardship, and yet I don’t find it hypocritical in the least to having a real tree as opposed to an artificial tree. 

There are actually some benefits to your home in choosing a real tree over artificial. Since I brought this tree home it’s been drinking up about a liter of water a day. Where is that water going? Well, it’s going back into the air as the tree breathes! It’s a living humidifier! One of the challenges in winter is the dry air. Dried out nasal don’t function well. The moisture of the mucus membranes work by capturing and binding pathogens. The dry air can also lead to inflammation which can cause further constriction and stagnation of mucus leading to an infection. Sure, you could use a room humidifier, but does your humidifier also filter the air!? Houseplants have long been known to improve indoor air quality, and a live tree in the home is essentially a giant houseplant! Bringing a real tree indoors in the winter can help alleviate stagnant air! 

Plus, you get the aromatherapy benefits! Pine essential oil is helpful for lung congestion associated with colds and flu. It can also be uplifting and energizing. I just LOVE walking into the living room and greeted with the soft scent of pine. 

Fake trees are usually made of petroleum based materials, and about 85% come from China. While artificial trees may be saving a few trees from being cut down, they certainly are not without their own environmental impact. When finally disposed of, that artificial tree it will likely be in a landfill for centuries. On the other hand, most real trees come from small tree farms, and about 93% of real trees are recycled through over 4,000 different programs! 

I also love the ambiance of having the lit tree in the home. It is something I look forward to each year. Having something beautiful in the home to look at is therapeutic in its self! I also love the eclectic mix of ornaments from different people and memories and my childhood. I usually keep my tree as long as I can, (which may have been as late as March last year!) because I find the long winter nights need a bit of extra cheer! 

So, if you have chosen a REAL tree this year, enjoy the holistic experience! And if you’ve chosen an artificial tree, perhaps you will choose the real deal the next time around!!

A very Merry Christmas to all! 

May we all have tender hearts to receive the Light and Love of Jesus.

Redeeming The Real Christmas Tree

Christmas feels like one of the few textured holidays I experience in the United States. In a culture generally lacking in meaningful tradition and ceremony, the ones we DO have often feel watered down with either superficial gestures that seem to lack much significance, or they get overrun with commercialism and consumerism. Just think about weddings, often there so much emphasis on the extravagance and planning, that the gravity of the occasion is often diluted in the din. 

Christmas is at risk of the same. What are we doing?? Why all the lights and cheer and merriment? Do you ever wonder why we are dragging LIVE trees indoors and stringing them with lights and décor? There are various theories as to where this tradition originated, but often I hear about the pagan roots of this tradition. Some even forego having a Christmas tree all together to avoid any association. I strongly believe we should follow the convictions of our conscious and heed the leading of the Spirit for our own lives. But, I also think we could easily throw out ALL traditions in fear, or just as tragic, simply go through empty motions without any meaning. 

There is nothing inherently mystical about a Christmas tree, but it can be steeped in spiritual meaning. For me, it is a daily reminder as I bend down to water this tree of the COST of my joy in this season. This tree is dying. The tree has already been dealt the death blow, but life is lingering for this season while I water it daily. It’s a reminder that the Word became flesh. The immortal God became perishable. Emmanuel, “God with us”. Think about that for a moment. God WITH us. No other god comes down to where we are to intimately know our experience and our suffering and the fragility of this life. Christmas is the celebration of the birth Jesus Christ. The One who remedied the problem of sin and separation between man and God. He paid the highest price to be with us in our suffering, in our loneliness. He paid the highest price to celebrate with us in the fullness of joy! 

It is also a reminder that this spiritual walk needs DAILY nourishment. If I watered this tree once a week it would soon turn brown and drop needles. The problem is, it wouldn’t happen right away. So I might think I don’t need it daily. In John 15 Jesus says “I am the vine, you are the branches” (v.5) He is offering us more than earthly water, He is offering Himself as our sustenance. A daily watering will slow the progression of death of this evergreen tree in my living room, but it IS dying. I’m just delaying the process. The book of Romans says of us, “who were branches from a wild olive tree, have been grafted in. So now you also receive the blessing God has promised Abraham and his children, sharing in the rich nourishment from the root of God’s special olive tree.” (Romans 11:17 NLT) We are no longer just being watered to delay death, but connected to the source of LIFE. 

To be GRAFTED in to the Vine is costly. It’s committed. It’s setting aside all other sources of ‘watering’ for the gift of LIFE. This life is not just for after this earthly death, it is LIFE NOW. Jesus says, “I am the bread of life!” (John 6:48) and that this bread was sent by our Heavenly Father, “for the life of the world.” (John 6:51) For those of us in this world (yes, that is you and I!) true life and satisfaction is offered now! And, it is a gift, underserved favor with God, because of the completed work of Jesus Christ, if we believe and put our trust in Him and not our own “watering”. THIS is the reason to celebrate! That God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the full penalty of our sin, that is death and separation from God. It is the undoing of the fall of man. So that all would be reconciled and brought back into relationship with God—if we choose Him. 

May these trees be a symbol to center us back to WHY we are celebrating Christmas. And be a reminder to the reason we have JOY.