This is where things are messy.
The idea for the blog title did not actually come from Psalm 23– though I was churning on those verses even then! It came while tinkering with essential oil distillation with a large glass still that I had received as a gift over a year ago. I had done lots of reading and researching on the steps and processes of distilling essential oils from plant material, but I had gotten antsy to just try it out! The creative process that I love is often a lot of trial and error, a lot of failure, and usually involves making a huge mess! This was no exception. Hours of prepping and brainstorming, purchasing additional tools— like an aquarium pump to recirculate the cold water through the condensing chamber, the proper tubing, and (with safety in mind) some heat resistant gloves! All that time spent reading and prepping was useful, but the messy process can be a potent teacher, I was ready to dive in! It took all afternoon.
It was only a partial success. I had some new problems to solve. The goal was to get some pine essential oil. Instead of essential oil, all of my investment produced a small amount of pine hydrosol with just a sheen of oil floating on top. Not even enough to collect.
A quick explanation of the process: Essential oils are the plant oils contained in the structure of the plant. Essential oils are oils they are considered “volatile oils” and differ from “fixed oils”—which are what we typically think of as oils, such as olive oil and coconut oil. Volatile oils are not as greasy and evaporate quickly. They also are strongly aromatic of the plant in which they were extracted from. Plants like olives and sesame contain “fixed oils”- these are the greasy type oils that are usually extracted through cold pressed methods, though solvents can also be used, but not preferred. Essential oils are most often produced through steam distillation.
Here is a basic diagram of a distilling setup similar to mine. The steam goes through the plant material evaporating the plant waters, also called the hydrosol, and volatile oil or essential oil. The steam then goes into the cooling condensing chamber bringing it back into a liquid state, and collecting the two in the separator where the oil will (often) float on the top of the hydrosol.
The process for me involved going out and harvested a bag full of pine needles, and carefully cutting them into small pieces to increase the surface area, getting a big bag of ice to keep the water circulating through the condensing chamber cold, buying a gallon of distilled water to boil (this would prevent any mineral scale from building up on the glass, and provide a better extraction of the plant material), clearing the kitchen counter and putting together the apparatus. The challenge was to get everything in proper proximity (while not falling over!), and be sure the bottom chamber had a flush contact with the burner to allow enough heat transfer to keep a rolling boil. By the time I was done, there were little bits of pine needle everywhere!
So that November day, I went through all this effort of distilling, and no essential oil! All I got was a little hydrosol. While I was starting to wrap up the process and begin the cleanup, I had the realization that the water in the collection chamber was “still water”; water produced through distillation. The laborious hours produced this small vial of aromatic water. It was much like how I approach life and being in the process. Sometimes I go through all of these experiences and processes and laborious effort of sorting through, and I look at the fruit produced, and I am admittedly disappointed! All of that effort— for this?? Is it even useful??
Often I find it is not about what is left in the ‘collection chamber’ of life, but what I learned along the way. Sometimes I come through an experience with something of substance gained, and other times, I only have more questions or problems to solve, or resolve to approach a situation differently.
Part of the vulnerability of writing is that it is ‘out there’. What if I’m wrong? What if I change my mind? Well, the truth is: I’m human, and I’m in the process, and I am simply inviting you along on the journey. Some days I might have something valuable to say, other days might just be more questions and problems to ponder, and still others I might totally change my position or perspective on past topics! You are welcome to come, to witness and engage in the process! It is often a lot of trial and error, a lot of failure, and I usually make a huge mess!