**I wrote this at the end of 2017 as part of a gift to my family and a few close friends.**
The relevance has not faded over the following months. How do I leave room for God
to work in my life? In my heart? Part, is having an open heart to let go (like of the
job I had then)-- but also an open heart to receive. I love the unique Bleeding Heart
flowers. As they mature, the bottom of the 'heart' splits open, making room
for the ripening seed. We also can make space in our hearts and lives for the
plans and provisions and purpose that God is ripening in our lives.
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Therefore I will look
to the Lord;
I will wait for the God of my salvation;
My God will hear me. Micah 7:7
Be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who HOPE in the Lord. Pslam 32:24
And
the word of the Lord came to me, saying,
“Jeremiah, what do you see?”
And I said, “I see an almond branch.” Then the Lord said to me,
“You
have seen well, for I am watching
over my word to perform it.”
Jeremiah
1:11-12
“Joy to the world, the Lord
has come!
Let earth receive her King
Let every heart prepare Him room”
This seems
to have been the year for “preparing Him room.” I had pretty small understanding
those familiar lyrics until recently when I was processing through what it
means to HOPE in the Lord, and I feel as though it may be a lifetime more of
unpacking all that it means in the outworkings of life. HOPE feels like
creating space in my heart, a gap—at times a gaping hole that hurts and throbs
to be filled. Creating space for God to move and work. Joy does not fit in a
heart that if filled with hurt, disappointment, and pain. Could I give Him room
to dredge the muddy waters of my heart and give way to the clear rivers of joy
and satisfaction?
The coming
of the King is JOY for those who
have room
to receive.
Space in my
heart wasn’t just about getting out the nasty stuff, it also means WAITING on
Him. It means not filling it with other things in the meanwhile, not squeezing
out my desires of God’s best with the ‘good,’ not running out and trying to get
God’s work done in my own intellect and planning, not moving forward because I
am tired of waiting, because I like action, because waiting has become too
painful so I have to DO something! This problem is not unique to me or
even my generation, the Bible is filled with stories of those who could not
wait, Abraham, Esau, King Saul. We also read about the wonders that God does
when those who wait in obedience don’t jump the gun and try to get it done
themselves. I love the words of David in 1 Samuel 22:3 “Please let my father
and my mother stay with you, till I know what God will do for me.” He was on
the run for his life, his world was in complete upheaval and he says, “till I
know what God will do for me.”
What has
this looked like? It means staying in a job that I have really had enough of.
Letting go of certain friendships, investing more in some relationships and
less in others. Closing down a business that took a lot of time and resources. Waiting
in the area of dating, not to give up, but to leave room in my heart with
anticipation—which can be painful! Some days, denying these desires would
certainly feel easier, but not at the cost of settling for less than God’s
best! God treasures this time with me, to be present with me in a unique way in
my waiting. He fills the space with His sweet goodness, He preserves my heart
from bitterness.
It means
giving God the first say in where I go and how I spend my time. I have come to
see a lot of people have their agenda
for my time, even in GOOD things I need to be sure I am not crowding out God
with busyness or exhausting myself. I too am watching for Him to perform His word so I am ready for action and
not caught napping! It means letting certain hobbies that I have taken great
enjoyment in become less and less, maybe for a season, maybe for good. It means
taking risks of obedience to do things that feel out of my character, to be
sensitive to the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit to reach out to a friend, or
give a word of encouragement or a prayer for a stranger. These have been the
places of greatest joy in the last year. When I have been the most hesitant or
resistant to where I feel God is leading, and following Him anyway.
Preparing
Him room has created a shift in my relationship with God. I want His presence
more than I want what He can do for me. He is becoming my satisfaction in the
time of waiting. He is the Bread of Life, the one who nourishes me, sustains
me, holds me and comforts me. And He, more than anything else desires ME, to BE
with me. So much so, that He sent His son. Emmanuel, “God with us” to forever
destroy the barrier of sin and separation, to be present with me in my time of waiting, to be my hope as we watch together
for Him to perform His word.
“till I know what God will do for
me.”