Monday, October 1, 2018

Dancing Isn’t a Democracy

Dancing Isn’t a Democracy


Who knew such a potent lesson could come from dancing bachata! God can speak to us in all sorts of ways if we are open and listening, even on the dance floor. I am fairly new to social dancing, and it was a very intimidating pursuit! I have always been a very physical person and enjoy moving my body, but the thought to have someone else in my space moving WITH me seemed like a recipe for disaster. I was baffled how two people could move in harmony and beautifully, unchoreographed! Especially during fast energetic dances like salsa or the hustle! How are they not stepping on each other or elbowing each other in the face!? I quickly learned the lead/follow dynamic is what enables the beauty to unfold. As a free spirited, independent woman, this aspect was not immediately comfortable, and I still struggle with it. Part of my difficulty is waiting on the leader’s cues, but also in letting go and being in the moment and not trying to anticipate. It has been fascinating to me how differently each leader leads and how the lead/follow dynamic really is like a conversation without words.
A few nights ago a young man asked me to dance, and it was immediately uncomfortable. We weren’t quite on the same beat, his cues weren’t very clear and were a bit delayed so I felt rushed and behind most of the dance. He seemed more interested in his own moves and looking good than being present in the dance, offering clear and timely cues, and moving in harmony with me. It was anxiety producing and it really wasn’t enjoyable. I was relieved when the song ended and I quickly moved to get off the dancefloor. But, a second young man invited me to dance. I accepted. What a world of difference, even though it was both bachata. There is such a comfort in a clear lead. He wasn’t being forceful or harsh, which can be just as uncomfortable and unpleasant! We moved well together, his indications were timely and clear, and there was an expression of joy and beauty! I was having a lot of FUN!
I often learn through experiences and physical pursuits, and I have taken MANY potent lessons from the dance floor. This particular evening was a clear reminder of my needs in relationships. I like clarity, clear communication, and moving in harmony, to the same beat. Interestingly, the man I first danced with, later danced with another woman, and they had a beautiful “conversation” on the dancefloor, synchronized and lovely. This is a reminder that some people just jive together better than others. It’s not a judgement on RIGHT or WRONG ways all the time, but preference or differing needs.
Dancing has also been a reminder of some spiritual truths that I keep circling back to. Partner dancing has RULES, a structured set of steps that all of the other moves build on. When I first started, I was a bit confused by what I was learning, because often I didn’t even see the basic steps watching an advanced couple dancing! All I could see was the freedom and beauty in their synchronized movement. Often I hear people say they don’t like to be restricted by the rules of partner dance. They want their freedom of expression. How often do we respond this way to God? We don’t want to follow His rules, which gives structure and form that ALLOW freedom and beauty. In resisting His Word, our following of Him starts looking more like a boxing match than a lovely dance filled with joy. The law is meant to give freedom, but we only see it as restricting. Just like traffic laws allow the free flow of cars efficiently and safely at high speeds. If you have ever been in a country without traffic laws, or laws that are not abided by, you have experienced the chaos! There can’t be quick travel because you never know for sure what the other drivers are going to do! Or, we want to dance to our own beat. Maybe we find the music of the Spirit too fast or too slow, so we set our own tempo. This is just as disastrous and painful to watch. When we are willing to listen to the melody and rhythm of the Spirit, stay within the structure of the Word, and follow the leading of the Father, we can be assured that He will unfold the most exquisite dance of joy and beauty.

3 comments:

  1. this was great..... this is Jose. this was the old name of our ministry! Blessings

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  2. Great analogy, great lessons learned! Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Great post! Very cool analogy!

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